Name It To Tame It: The power of Emotions, Feelings and Self-Care
- kempeneerh
- May 26
- 5 min read
In a fast-paced, high-pressure world, it's easy to overlook the signals our body and emotions are constantly sending us. But what if tuning in, even briefly, could change how we show up at work, in relationships, and within ourselves?
Understanding and naming our emotions is one of the most courageous and impactful self-care tools we have. It helps us manage stress, clarify what we need, and build sustainable relationships. One of the most useful resources in this process is the Feelings Wheel, a practical tool rooted in psychological research.
Emotion vs. Feeling: What's the Difference?
We often use the terms emotion and feeling interchangeably, but they aren’t the same.
Emotions are raw data. They show up in the body as sensations like tightness in the chest, dry mouth, or a clenched jaw. These visceral messengers signal whether our needs are being met or not. The longer they go ignored, the louder they tend to get.
Feelings are the mind’s interpretation of those sensations. They're often filtered through our past experiences or worries about the future. This means feelings can sometimes be misleading, shaped more by story than present truth.
Connecting to the raw emotion helps us stay grounded in reality and make more aligned decisions. This is a core component of emotional intelligence.
What the Science Says
In a 2013 study from Aalto University in Finland, 700 participants were asked to colour in outlines of the human body to show where they felt different emotions. The results were striking: each emotion consistently triggered unique bodily sensations, and these patterns were consistent across cultures.
“Emotions adjust not only our mental, but also our bodily states. They prepare us to react to danger, but also to connect in meaningful ways.”— Dr. Lauri Nummenmaa, Aalto University
This research highlights what many of us already know intuitively: emotions live in the body. To understand them, and release them, we have to learn to listen.
Introducing the Feelings Wheel
The Feelings Wheel is a simple yet powerful tool that helps you identify and name what you're really feeling. It breaks down broad categories like anger or sadness into more specific emotions like frustrated, resentful, lonely, or guilty.
Why is that helpful?
Because clarity leads to connection. When we can name what we’re experiencing, we can meet it with curiosity instead of overwhelm. We also communicate more clearly, with ourselves and others.
The wheel is based on the work of psychologist Dr. Robert Plutchik, who identified 8 core emotions and mapped how they combine to form more complex feelings. Many modern versions of the wheel expand on his work, offering deeper nuance and emotional granularity. You can find the translations of the Feelings Wheel in many languages here.
The ability to identify one’s emotions is a skill related to emotional intelligence (Salovey & Mayer, 1990).
Those high in this skill can communicate more detailed emotional experiences and use a greater emotional vocabulary. Research has found that helping individuals expand their emotional vocabulary can help them regulate their emotions more effectively (Kircanski et al., 2012).
How to Use the Feelings Wheel
You can use the Feelings Wheel in many different ways:
Direct Reflection
In the middle of a situation, pause and ask: What am I feeling? Start with the centre of the wheel (core emotions) and work your way outward for specificity.
Daily Check-In
At the end of the day, reflect: What emotions did I feel today? What were they trying to tell me? Did I respond to my needs?
Long-Term Insight
Explore lingering emotional patterns: Have I been carrying fear, sadness, or frustration for a while? What more specific feelings live underneath that?
The wheel is especially useful for people who tend to feel “numb” or “flooded” - it offers language and structure to something that can otherwise feel chaotic or hard to access.
Emotional Naming in Practice
Naming your emotions isn’t just self-awareness — it’s self-leadership.
Let’s take a real workplace example:
During a Period of High Workload
You’re being asked to take on more and more. Your to-do list is overflowing, your shoulders are tense, and your breathing feels shallow. You pause and check in with your body - it’s telling you something. Using the Feelings Wheel, you move from a general sense of “stress” to more specific feelings: “I feel overwhelmed.” “I feel unsupported.” “I feel anxious.”
These feelings point to underlying unmet needs, like clarity, shared responsibility, or manageable expectations. Rather than reacting from a place of frustration or burnout, you can communicate clearly and constructively:
“I’m feeling stretched thin at the moment. Could we clarify the top priorities so I can focus where it’s most needed?”
This isn’t about escaping the pressure, it’s about staying resourced within it. That’s the power of emotional naming: it turns tension into insight, and insight into constructive action.
The Wheel in the Workplace
This tool isn’t just for therapy or journaling. In professional settings, it can help us:
Shift from blame to responsibility
Communicate needs with clarity
Defuse tension in team dynamics
Build emotionally intelligent leadership
It supports a culture of psychological safety, where people are encouraged to show up fully, not perform perfection.
Want to Go Deeper?
If you're interested in learning more, or in experiencing the benefits of emotional naming and the Feelings Wheel in a way that’s tailored to you, I invite you to join my 1-day Self-Care Workshop.
This immersive day explores tools to help you:
Build emotional awareness and nervous system literacy
Communicate with clarity and boundaries
Cultivate resilience and regulate stress
Strengthen personal and professional relationships
Whether you're an individual looking to deepen your inner toolkit, or part of an organisation committed to wellbeing and leadership development, you're welcome. You can sign up directly as an individual, or if you’d like to bring this workshop into your organisation, we’d be happy to tailor it to your team’s specific needs.
Final Reflection
Unpleasant emotions aren’t the enemy, they’re messengers. They point us toward unmet needs, unresolved tensions, or forgotten desires. When we slow down enough to listen, they show us where care is needed, in ourselves and in others.
So keep the Feelings Wheel close. Use it as a daily compass, a tool for clarity, and a quiet act of self-trust.
Because when we name it, we really can tame it, with compassion and intention.
If this post resonated with you, feel free to share it with someone who might benefit too. And if you’d like to keep exploring themes like emotional wellbeing, transitions, and conscious self-leadership, I invite you to subscribe to the blog and join the SETUKA newsletter. You’ll receive occasional updates on upcoming workshops, fresh insights, and practical tools to support you, both personally and professionally, on your journey of growth and self-care.
Thank you for being part of the SETUKA community. Let’s stay in touch, and until then, take gentle care.
Heidi Kempeneer,
Therapist and Founder of SETUKA , a platform for body-based therapies and well-being services for individuals and organisations.
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